Tamaki Discovers
by Sierra Wood
Summary: Basically Tamaki 'discovers' random commoner objects. Unfortunately for Kyoya and Haruhi, they have to explain what everything is. Sorry if Tamaki as a bit overly flamboyant and idiotic. I tend to go overboard with the mindlessness.


"Kyoya! Kyoya! Kyoya! I just found the greatest thing ever!" Tamaki yelled excitedly to Kyoya.

It was an ordinary Thursday after host club hours. Everyone had already left for the day with the exception of Kyoya, Tamaki, and Haruhi. Haruhi was in the back room putting up the tea sets the club had used that day. Tamaki and Kyoya were both in the club room. Kyoya was sitting at his table in the back working on the clubs budget. Tamaki was only there because 'mommy' and 'daughter' were there. So, Kyoya and Haruhi both had legitimate reasons for still being there and Tamaki was just there for no apparent reason.

"And just what is this amazing thing that you have found?" Kyoya asked not looking up from his laptop. He figured that Tamaki had found something completely pointless and mostly likely commoner- like.

"I found a red ball on a stick. Actually I found a bunch of them in a little box." Tamaki said excitedly waving it around in front of Kyoya's face.

"Tamaki, I would appreciate it if you would kindly move your 'stick' out of my face." Kyoya said coldly. Slowly, Tamaki moved his hand away as if afraid that any sudden movements would result in a bitten hand, or worse. "Thank you Tamaki. Now that stick you found is called a match. You use it to make fire." Kyoya explained.

Tamaki's eyes grew wide and he was bouncing up and down. "Really? It makes fire! Do you know how to use one! I know! I bet Haruhi knows how to use one! She can show me!" Tamaki ran out of the room and into the back room where Haruhi was.

Kyoya rolled his eyes after the whole exchange. 'Idiot. Why can't he just calm down. I should go check on those two later. Just to make sure that Haruhi isn't about to kill the idiot. We still need him. If we lose him now then club profits go down not to mention our whole club will completely fall apart.' Kyoya got up from his table and walked into the back room where he found Haruhi glaring at Tamaki, who either didn't notice or didn't care that "daughter" was glaring at him.

"For the last time Senpai, it's not magic that the match lights when it's struck against the box but nothing else! It's because if something called science!" Haruhi said exasperated.

"Silly Haruhi and your ignorant commoner ways. It's clearly magic and I will ask Nekozawa about it." Tamaki said determined.

"Actually Tamaki, she's right. It's because if science that the match lights on a certain surface." Kyoya said speaking up.

"Mommy! I didn't hear you come in!" Tamaki said surprised.

"Naturally you wouldn't notice. Anyway I just came to check and make sure you weren't having any issues-"

"Nope! None at all mommy. Thanks for checking!"

"I was talking to Haruhi." Kyoya said making eye contact with the female host.

"We'll everything was going fine until Tamaki walked in and started rambling about the match he found." Haruhi said bluntly.

"I'm sorry daughter! Daddy didn't mean to bother you! I'll leave you now!" Then with that Tamaki ran out of the room with his matches.

"Honestly you would think that he would at least have enough sense to know that a match doesn't hold magical properties." Haruhi said.

"Haruhi, please, this is Tamaki we're talking about. He isn't exactly the brightest star in the sky when it comes to sense." Kyoya said.

"Hmm your right about that." Haruhi said.

Suddenly the doors burst open again and in came Tamaki who started running around looking for something. He found a giant pot and filled it with water. Then he ran out.

Kyoya and Haruhi shared a quick glance and then ran out into the main room just in time to see Tamaki dump the water on the table that held Kyoya's laptop.

"TAMAKI! WHY NO WHAT ON EARTH WOULD POSSESS YOU TO DUMP WATER ON MY LAPTOP?!" Kyoya roared. Seeing that the Shadow King was made and currently occupied Haruhi grabbed her bag and slipped out of the room to go home.

"It was on fire." Tamaki said trying to decide if he should run or beg for forgiveness.

Taking a deep breath Kyoya asked, "And why would it be on fire if I might ask."

"Well, I might have tried to see how many I could light at once and ended up burning myself and dropped a bunch of lit matches in the table and thus caused the table to catch in fire with your laptop on it." Tamaki said in a rush hoping that everything would be alright.

"And why would you want to see how many you could light at once?" Kyoya asked hoping that the idiot king had a decent answer.

"I don't really know. But do you want to know how many I got to light?" Tamaki asked hoping to get on his friends good side.

"No Tamaki. I really don't."

"Twenty!" He said happily

"So your telling me that you wanted to know how many matches you could light at once. Which was twenty. And that you got burned by those matches which you promptly dropped onto my laptop! And then AS If YOU HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY, YOU DUMPED AT LEAST 1 1/2 GALLONS OF WATER ON TOP OF MY LAPTOP HOPING THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE ALRIGHT?!" Kyoya said finally snapping.

"Um, yes?" Tamaki answered quietly hoping that it was the right answer.

"WRONG ANSWER! Tachibana, Aijima, Hotta, I need you all here, NOW!" Kyoya roared.

"Agh!" Tamaki shrieked and ran out of the music room as fast as he could but he didn't get far. Kyoya's men managed to capture the terrified idiot and dragged him back to the clubroom. Then they promptly tied him to a chair and left him to answer to the ticked off Shadow King.

The lights went off. And one lamp came on. Kyoya stepped out of the shadows and into the lamp light glowering. He spoke slowly and dangerously to Tamaki. "Now, I have half a mind to dumping you on a deserted island but, unfortunately, I can't exactly do that without losing profit in the club. So here's what's going to happen. You are going to clean up this mess and you are also going to explain to the rest of the club why you have a black eye."

"But I don't have a-"

WHAP! Kyoya's fist connected with Tamaki's face.

"Now you do."

"What was that for?"

"For being an idiot who managed to break my laptop by dropping lit matches on it and then proceeding to dump water on it."

Tamaki was silent.

"Oh and one more thing. No more matches." Then Kyoya turned and walked toward the door leaving Tamaki behind.

"W-wait! Kyoya! Don't leave me here! Kyoya! COME BACK! KYOYA!"

Then the lights went out and Tamaki heard the door shut letting him know that he was indeed alone now.

* * *

**And that is how Kyoya had to get a new laptop.**

**So how did people like it? Please REVIEW with any suggestions on what Tamaki could 'discover' next. Hope you liked it and please be sure to check out some of my other stories like For the Love of the Shadow King and His Master, The Shadow King. Also, Thank you mcangel1976 for helping me with part of this story.**


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